


When Raindrops Fall Onto Your Heart

by ImagineBeatles



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 13:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15535518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeatles/pseuds/ImagineBeatles
Summary: John and Paul in the rain in front of John’s home.





	When Raindrops Fall Onto Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr in 2013

John looked outside from his bedroom window. It had been raining all day. It was now already 9.30 in the evening and it was still warm. John loved those rainy summer days. It made the air smell really good. John wanted to go outside in the rain. Hearing the rain fall down on the dirty ground as it wetted his face and body. And at this point he couldn’t think of a reason not to. John turned around, grabbed a vest and ran downstairs. There was nobody home. Nobody would see him. Nobody would order him to get back inside before he would catch a cold.

            John softly closed the door behind him. He shuddered as he felt how a cold breeze caressed his skin. He wrapped his vest tightly around him. John turned and looked up at the sky. It was already completely dark and he could see the stars. The rain wetted his face completely. His damp hair hung down in drapes over his face so that his eyes were slightly covered. He licked his wet lips, tasting the summer rain. He smiled to himself and walked down the path of his home to the curb of the street in front of it. The street was wet from the rain. John slowly sat down. He felt the rain wetting his jeans. He didn’t care much. He let his elbows rest on his knees leaned with his head on the palms of his hands. He closed his eyes. He felt the rain coming down on his face and wetting his clothes. John loved the way it felt. It made him calm. After all that had happened he had really needed this. He let his mind drift away. He didn’t want to think. And he didn’t. John loved rainy summer days like this.

            John opened his eyes. Someone has laid a hand on his shoulder. John slowly turned his head. He looked at the hand. It was a left hand. A hand he knew so well. But also a hand he didn’t want to see. The skilled fingers of that hand trailed over his shoulder as he looked at it. The feeling made him shudder. He looked up at the owner of that hand. The hand that had made him feel so good at times, but had now broke his heart. The hand he’d caressed and loved before… Before what had happened. John caught the lad’s eyes. The young lad with thick, silky, dark brown hair, big, hazel eyes with long eyelashes and the face of an angle. The smile on the boy’s face was a boyish one. Innocent and kind. John didn’t look away, he kept their gaze. The boy slowly removed his hand.

‘Can I sit next to you?’ He asked. His voice sounded like the one of an angle’s too.

It was higher than his own, it was more sensational than his own. John had heard that special, boyish voice with that certain sparkle so many times before, when it was saying the sweetest, loveliest things. When it was saying the truest and most honest things. When it was saying the words John wanted to hear, even though he didn’t mean it. When it was saying the words John didn’t want to hear, because the lad said the things John had to hear, but didn’t want to. When it was saying the words that made John want the owner of that beautiful voice more than anything. When it was saying the most ugliest, most cruel  things John had ever heard before.

‘Yes.’ He answered him. John couldn’t look at those charming eyes anymore. He looked down at the ground where he could see the rain hitting it.

            John heard Paul slowly sitting down next to him. He could hear his breathing. Slowly. In and out. In and out. John let his hands and head fall and he started playing with his fingers. He could feel Paul’s eyes on him. Watching him. It made John nervous. His hands began to shake a little. His fingers were shaky and tense. Paul noticed and covered John’s hands with his own. He caressed John’s wet skin with his fingertips. John watched Paul’s pale hands and fingers on his own. He felt his heart beating faster and faster. But he felt he was getting calmer and calmer too. When John didn’t object to the touching Paul moved closer to him. He made their knees come very close together but made sure they were not touching yet. Only one more inch and they would be. John knew Paul did this to make him be the one who made the move. John wondered what Paul was doing here. Paul never made the first move. It would only have been logical if he had just waited for John to make the move. John did not want to. He looked away from Paul and took his hand back. Paul didn’t do anything anymore after that. John hoped he’d just leave.

            ‘John, I’m sorry…’ John heard Paul suddenly softly saying. Paul’s voice was shaking, making him sound vulnerable. John didn’t reply. John knew that would hurt Paul. Even though he normally would never want to hurt Paul, he did now. Paul placed his hand back on John’s shoulder. He squeezed.

‘John, I am sorry,’ Paul continued, ‘Please don’t ignore me.’ John didn’t react again. Paul kneeled down on the ground in front of him. John’s eyes grew wide. Paul took John’s chin between his fingers, making him look at him. He stroked John’s wet shoulder with his other hand. John just looked at him. His face was too wet and John could see drops of rain falling from his hair, chin and nose to the ground. His big, sad puppy eyes looked deep into his eyes.

‘John, why are you doing this to me? Do you have any idea how much you’re hurting me?’ Paul asked. His eyes were begging him to answer.

‘I am hurting you?! You’ve got to be freaking kidding me!’ John exclaimed. Paul’s hands dropped.

‘You know what I’m like, Paul. You had no reason at all to do that!’ John said firmly. Paul slowly nodded.

‘I know. And I am sorry. I truly am. But you don’t let me apologize.’ Paul said. John shook his head. He didn’t have time for this. Not again.

‘Just leave me alone, Paul. We’re not worth it. You’re not worth it.’ John said as he got up. Paul looked up at him with pleading doggie eyes. The normally happy sparkle had turned into a sad one. He looked as if he was going to cry soon. John’s heart broke into little pieces. He sighed and offered him a hand.

‘Let’s just forget about it. Come on, let get you dried up before you go. I don’t want you to catch a cold.’ He said. He had to stay strong, but stronger than this was impossible. John wondered if Paul knew what he could do to him. It didn’t look like he was trying, at all. He sighed and opened the door for Paul.

            Paul didn’t say anything. John didn’t either. He walked upstairs to the bathroom. Paul didn’t follow him. John was glad. He had to stay strong. He didn’t need Paul. He never needed Paul. Paul had made him believe he did. But he didn’t. He knew that now. And Paul would know it soon too.

            John closed the bathroom door behind him. The water was dripping onto the tiles as he stood there, forming a little pool. John ran a hand through his wet hair. He knew he had to get out of these wet clothes. But he didn’t want to. He first had to take care of this little situation. Why did Paul had to come? Why couldn’t he just let it rest? Why did he have to make everything so difficult for them? John sighed and walked over to the closet where he and Cynthia kept the towels. He took two, one for him and one for Paul. When Paul was dried up again, he had to leave and they would leave everything that had happened behind him. John couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t continue to lie to Cyn, to fight with Paul, to shout at him and being shout at. He couldn’t take Paul’s harsh words anymore. It was over. It had to stop. It was best for both of them. It had to be done. And if Paul wasn’t the one who was going to end it, he will. He just couldn’t take it anymore. It was all too much.

            John slowly walked off the stairs. Paul was standing at the door, head hanging down, water dripping of him. He looked like a little wet kitten. John just wanted to wrap him in and hold him tightly against him. Telling him he was just being stupid and they could make it. But deep inside him John knew he would only be kidding himself. That he would only be lying to Paul. It was over and Paul had no other choose but to accept it. Paul looked up at him as he heard John walking down. His eyes were red and his cheeks wet. John’s heart broke again for the umpteenth time that day. He walked over to him and handed him one of the soft, white towels. He threw the other over his head and dried his hair as he walked away.

‘John, don’t be like this.’ John heard Paul beg. His voice was creaking and John could hear the pain in his voice. John sat down on the stairs.

‘It’s over, Paul. I’m sorry, but it is. We both knew this was going to end one day.’ He said in a soft voice. He looked down and dried his face, holding back the tears.

‘But John…’ Paul tried. He had a lump in his throat.

‘It’s over, okay! Just forget about it.’ John said a little bit angrier than he wanted. He felt guilty, but Paul did shut up. For a couple of seconds anyway.

‘It was only a stupid fight. We have them all the time, why would this be any different?’ Paul asked. John scoffed.

‘Okay, we might have been a little too harsh on each other and I might not have said the handiest things, but…’ Paul stopped. He didn’t know what else to say.

‘I’m sorry okay.’ Was the only thing he could come up with.

‘Paul. Try to understand. We are fighting all the time. I don’t want to fight anymore. I can’t continue lying to Cyn. I have a son.’ John said.

‘That wasn’t a problem before!’ Paul shot back.

‘Well maybe I’ve grown up!’ John shouted. Paul took a step back and swallowed. He dried his hair, not saying anything.

‘Would you look at us, Paul. We can’t even talk about something without fighting.’ John said with a sad smile. He knew Paul knew he was right. He could see it in the way his act changed. He now just stood there, drying himself. Coldly. John shook his head, closed his eyes and did the same.

            John’s eyes shot open as he felt someone touching him. It was Paul.

‘What are you…’ John started. Paul had put John’s foot in his lap on the towel and was taking his shoe off. Paul didn’t look up at him.

‘I thought I might help you drying yourself. It’s the least I can do.’ He replied.

‘I can do it myself, you know.’ John said. He knew that if he’d let Paul too close he’d lose it and he’d be on his knees begging him to stay with him. Paul shrugged.

‘It won’t change anything.’ John said. Paul nodded, a few drops of water came on John’s leg. Paul was still completely wet.

‘I know. Just let me. I don’t want you to get sick. See it as a way of saying goodbye.’ Paul said. His voice was low and had only little emotion. John knew Paul was pushing his tears away. John sighed.

‘Fine. Do what you want.’ He said reluctantly. Paul knew him far too well. Paul bent over his feet and dried it with the soft towel. He dried them gently, lovingly. John felt a weird sensation in his stomach. John felt more drops of water falling on his feet and leg. He looked over to Paul. He was still completely soaked. John took the towel, which lay next to him and leaned over. He dried to tips of Paul’s hair. Paul looked up at him. John felt bad for him. He only now realized again how much Paul loved him. And he loved Paul. John had never thought about what Paul would think off it all.

‘You were dripping.’ John said in a sweet tone. Paul smiled weakly.

‘Thanks.’ He answered. He continue to dry John as John watched his every move. Why was he doubting again. It was only because of how Paul was touching him. Paul had magic fingers. When he was gone again, he’d know he had made the right choice. John closed his eyes and tried hard not to get his emotion get ahead of him.

            John sighed in relieve as Paul let go of him again. He slowly opened his eyes. Paul had stood up. He was looking at him. His damp hair wasn’t dripping anymore, but it was still damp. His shirt was still wet. John could see Paul’s torso beneath it. God, did that boy look gorgeous. John immediately pushed the thought away. He had gotten so far, he had to stand firm and not give in.

‘I think I’ll get going then.’ He said. John nodded and stood up as well. His jeans were sticking to his legs, which gave an annoying feeling.

‘I think that’s for the best.’ He replied. Paul nodded and walked over to him. John froze. He couldn’t move. Paul stopped only a couple of inches away.

‘I wish it didn’t have to end. I love you, John. I always will. I’m sorry for what I did.’ He said. John didn’t know what to do. Paul raised his hand and caressed John’s cheek with his thumb. John was nailed to the ground. Paul leaned in and gave John one last kiss on his lips. John let him and closed his eyes, but didn’t kiss back. He felt Paul was shaking a little. John tried to remember every inch of Paul’s mouth. How soft his lips were, how every kiss he gave him made him feel like he was in heaven. How firm his lips were and how much emotion he could show by one simple kiss. How that one simple touch of his lips against his could made his head spin. John opened his eyes again as Paul broke the kiss. John saw a tear run down Paul’s cheek. He didn’t want to hurt Paul. But if he stayed with him, he would only cause more pain. John was certain of it. Paul turned and slowly walked away. John watched him leave.

‘I love you, too.’ He softly whispered as Paul closed the door behind him. John felt a tear run down his own cheek as well. He quickly wiped it away. It was for the best.  

            John watched Paul walk in the rain. His hair was already wet again. John suppressed the urge to run after him and dry him again. He wanted to run out of his house and call out his name, begging him to take him back. John missed Paul already. Paul had been his first love. He always will be. You can never let that person go. Not completely anyway. But it was for the best. They would only break up under worse conditions. John knew that for sure. John hoped they could stay friends. That this wouldn’t ruin the band. John loved Paul. Yes, he still did. And he’ll always will. He didn’t want Paul to be hurt. John hoped that one day Paul would understand why John had made this decision for the both of them. John saw Paul make a turn. He was now out of sight. John felt his heart was broken again. For the last time. His heart told him to go after him. To tell him he was an idiot and that he would never be able to give him up. But he didn’t. It was for the best. John took off his wet clothes and threw them in the laundry basket. It was for the best. And one day Paul would understand. And maybe one day John would too.  

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was graciously imported from tumblr by [CJD](https://chut-je-dors.tumblr.com/) who is a good friend and overall pretty amazing. Suck it, Puck


End file.
